Show Me The Shoes

B45A98FE-0449-4769-8DA4-8EC6A70CE123Online shopping will be my undoing. No, wait, shoe shopping will be my undoing. Actually, it will be a combination of the two. I will go broke spending money on footwear and said shoes will physically cripple me.

Here’s a for instance: I felt like all that was lacking in my life was a pair of creepers. I had a pair but they were so heavy that I couldn’t walk more than a few blocks in them without feeling exhausted. Then I discovered that the Canadian company Native Shoes was making a lightweight, EVA version of the Teddy Boy favourites  in collaboration with shoemaker George Cox.

Of course, I don’t need any more shoes, but these puppies have everything that I currently desire: a bit of height, Black and whiteness, lightness and they are slip ons to boot! So after a month of looking at a picture of them on my Pinterest, I decided to pull the trigger.

B72D618B-1D49-4C34-AB60-FDE3F65897D1Of course, when I went on the site to buy them, I espied these cute, flocked pumps and impulsively added them to my cart. I think that they will be super versatile whilst travelling because they can be dressed up or down.

So how could such sensible shoes cause my physical undoing? Well first of all, a long time ago I went to an event which had a bunch of psychics, astrologists and other diviners of fortune. I don’t really let the zodiac dictate my life, but the astrologer did advise me to watch my feet and my skin because these were weak points for my sign.

Cut to twenty years later and my new shoes have arrived and I nearly break my neck when I trip over a pile of all the other footwear that I own. Plus, I have a breakout of zits and I never get zits. The prophecy is coming true!

3A52B5EB-DF97-41EC-85A4-08352AB166DFTo drive the point home even further, the pumps came with an escalator warning. I will do my best to heed this caution.